Profile: Vera Goldwyn
Friends: 1896
Relationship Status: Single
Birthday: December 25th 1971
Current City: Brisbane, Australia
Religious Views: I believe in the Goddess!
Looking For: Men, Women, Networking
Events: Vera Goldwyn is attending Carrie Clitter, Sex and the Kiddies 2, performing at Drag O’Rama. Free Food and Free Drinks. Carrie Clitter is…….
What’s on your mind? Can’t wait to see you all at my next Robusti’s Spring Clean performance, Saturday 12th , 8pm at The Juice Box, Womyn Only space. FREE drinks and FREE Food. See you there!!
Comments
Anne Marie Fantasea: Wonderful Vera, can’t wait to see you, is it Womyn only?
Vera Goldwyn: Yes it is, but I’ll be doing the show again next Thursday lunchtime on the Mall. I expect the media to be there! Bring the boys along then if they want to see it. It’s time for Robusti’s Annual Spring Clean of the Queen St Mall!
Anne Marie Fantasea: Fabulous Vera. Are you dusting the garden beds and polishing the seats again? Riley and Milo love to see their favourite Feminist Ninja Turtle sweeping the mall clear of hatred and violence against womyn and queers. They’ve seen every Mall Sweeping performance since they were born 11 years ago. You’d think they get tired of it?? Kids!
Jonelle Payne has accepted your Friend Request
Jonelle Payne: OMG is that you Andrea Brown? Vera Goldwyn WTF?? You look the same as when we were in 9C together for homeroom, just older and fatter like the rest of us. That was sooo long ago. Wat are you wearing in yor profile pic? Is that a Ninja Turtle costume? Why have you got a feather duster up yor arse? FARKIN CLASSIC!! Yor funny. Gotta go get the brats from school before their Dad tries to pick them up. Ughhhh! Divorce. See you in Farmville!!
Jonelle Payne (knee Hetherington)
xxxxx
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Profile: Jonelle Payne
Friends: 1345
Relationship Status: Separated
Birthday: August 12th 1971
Current City: Rockhampton, Australia
Looking For: Men
Events: Jonellle Payne is attending RSVP Singles night at Catch Of The Day Seafood Bar and Grill. All you can eat buffet only $55. Single Ladies, wear a white rose and meet the gent of your dreams…..
What’s on your mind? I am soooo sick and tired of men! Why can’t he just accept that the kids are happier at home with me and not with him and his mother all weekend? I’m gonna rock out to P!nk! Na Na Na Na Na Na , I’m gonna start a fight!
Comments:
Tracey Bugeja: Awww hon, it’s so hard, but yor made of tuff stuff! Keep rockin!!
Kelly Johnson: Men, who needs em??? You coming to girls night at The Claptrap on wed night?
Tracey Bugeja: Yaaay Clappies!! Jugs of Illusions!! Partaaay Woot Woot!
Dino Page: Jugs of illusions – you gonna be wearing a push up bra Trace?
Jonelle’s Inbox
Message from Vera Goldwyn to Jonelle Payne
“Hi Jonelle, It’s been so long since high school! I’m really a very different person now. As you can see, I have changed my name, but I haven’t married. I’m Bisexual, and if you have a problem with that, I don’t really care. I’m exhausted from trying to please everyone and I’m tired of being judged on my life choices. So anyway, I’m still an artist, I write, perform and publish my own work and I guess you could say that I am kind of famous around these parts.
Yes, it is a Ninja Turtle costume I am wearing in my picture, it is one of my performance characters, “Robusti”, (based on the great female renaissance painter, Marietta Robusti) who fights misogyny and patriarchal gender stereotypes and challenges the Church by doing housework whilst dressed in a Ninja Turtle costume. The feather duster represents the rape of my womyn’s rights. I also play a Drag King version of early Brian Eno “Drag Eno” and a sassy Asian Cabbage Patch Doll called “$2 Sucky Fucky”.
I perform a lot in small art galleries, burlesque venues, queer carnivals and in public spaces. You can see on my website all of the press clippings, reviews and photographs that I have saved over the past 20 years of my career. It’s www.viscountessvera.net. It needs a little organising, but I am so busy these days. Who has the time? I was wondering if you had any photos of me from the Rock Eisteddford back in 1987? Perhaps you could scan them and email them to me. Some pictures of me in our Salt ‘n’ Peppa show would nearly complete my folio.
Well, Jonelle, it’s great to see you on Friend Book, I’ll write again soon, so much to tell you about my life. I’ve had a really serious stalker. So suffocating. And it certainly hasn’t helped my chronic depression :{ Has she contacted you? Don’t believe a word she says if she does.
P.S Is Tracey Bugeja, Tracey Hellman who had intercourse with a jumbo texta in Miss McLilley’s English class in Grade 11?? I can hardly recognise her. How many kids has she had now?
Sisters are doing it for themselves!
Vera xxx
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Profile: Vera Goldwyn
Friends: 1897
Relationship Status: Single
Birthday: December 25th 1971
Current City: Brisbane, Australia
Religious Views: I believe in the Goddess!
Looking For: Men, Women, Networking
Events:
Vera Goldwyn is attending Twatter, a symposium of feminist social media acolytes, using social media technology to subvert the dominant paradigm. Free food and Free drinks…
Vera Goldwyn is attending Queercan’ts, a radical women’s choral tribute to Joan Baez. Free Food and Free Drinks, no singing experience necessary, bring along a home made instrument and help us raise funds to end oppression in Latin…….
What’s on your mind? I’ve had enough of people who don’t take my work seriously! Just because I don’t ask for thousands of dollars to perform and only choose work that I feel is socially just and ethical, doesn’t mean that I’m not a serious Artist. So what if I only have $6 until next Tuesday. People are so money obsessed and shallow and self-centred. It makes me sick. Ahhhh!
Comments:
Elmo Von Snuffelupagus: Don’t worry about it Vera, we luv U! Come around for dinner tomorrow night, we’ll have vegan polenta with seaweed salad and spelt bread’n’nobutter pudding.
Vera Goldwyn: Thanks Elmo, I can’t wait for the vegan feast! It’ll be good to have a long talk, sometimes my problems overwhelm me if I don’t get to verbalise them. You and Countess Catrina, the wobbliest Pussy in the world, are just the best listeners ever. At least somebody understands me. I’ll bring a bottle of Coopers. Mwah!
Elmo Von Snuffelupagus: Countess Catrina is purring in anticipation XXX
Inbox: Message from Jonelle Payne to Vera Goldwun
Jesus Andrea! I always knew you’d be famous. Sounds like you’re havin a goodtime, with the dress ups and acting lark. Do you have a proper job? And whose Brian Eno? Anyhoo, as you can imagine, a lot has happened in my life. I got married just after school to Justin Payne – remember him? He was two years ahead of us at school, played regionals footy.
We had three sprogs pretty much straight away and were doing great until he cracked on to Tracey Bugeja. (She is Tracey Hellman and she did root the jumbo Nikko pen, tho she denies it now!). The fucken sly dog did it when I was knocked up with my youngest brat Briarna. Lucky Trace told me!
Anyway, I knew Justin wasn’t paying his GST for the business, so I rung up the Tax guys and waited till they busted his arse! I made him sign over the house to me, took the kids and left him with the $250 grand tax bill. Now he’s gonna go work in the mines in WA to pay off the debt hahahahahahaha!
You probably remember my older sister Chontelle, well she died in a car accident 12 years ago, just a few months after Mum axidently gassed herself in the caravan. Her kid, Chevon was like a daughter to me tho I don’t get to see her much now cause her foster family live in Gladstone. Eva since the stuff about Dad touchin Chevon came about her foster mum has been a real bitch and tried to turn her against us. I don’t believe half of it, but what can you do, the pigs had it in for Dad from the start.
I’m working part time at the Council office, in animal registrations and doing piggin permits. Totally sux, but Justin won’t pay me any money for the kids, reckons the house and Rav 4 is enough! Men!! I’m so sick of being disappointed by them, I’m just not gonna trust no-one much anymore.
Must catch up next time your in Rocky.
Jonelle :} xxxxxx OOOOO xxxxxx
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Profile: Jonelle Payne
Friends: 1340
Relationship Status: Separated
Birthday: August 12th 1971
Current City: Rockhampton, Australia
Looking For: Men
What’s on your mind? Can’t stop thinking about poor Dad, holding his hand and hoping against all odds. Wishing that I could bring the kids into the prison hospital. Bloody Screws!! I try not to blame myself, but am thinking, is this Karma?
Comments:
Tracey Bugeja: Aw hon, I hope everything will be ok. You always have such bad luck – how’s he doing? L
Jonelle Payne: Well, he’s in an introduced coma still. I’m just taken one day at a time. Can’t believe so much damage could be done with just an exercise bike seat?? It doesn’t look good.
Ciara Powers: Thinking of you gorgeous. Mwah xxx
Dino Page: Wear were those fucken screw cunts when they should have been watchin him?
Farmville Update: Jonelle Payne found a cute baby calf wondering through her Farmville property. Please adopt the Calf or donate feed for it ……….
Comments:
Dino Page: Eat it. Mmmm veal chops.
Inbox: Message from Vera Goldwyn to Jonelle Payne
Jonelle, Sounds like your life is so full of drama! I don’t know how you cope? Though, through my own experience with my stalker, who latched on to me for my fame, and then spread vicious lies about me to all of my professional contacts, I understand how hard it must be for you. You see, I went on one date with this woman 12 years ago. Afterwards I thought I was just having bad luck with my career, but it turns out that for YEARS she has been telling people in the arts community that I am a PSYCHO! I always thought it was strange that I would perform just once at a venue, and NEVER get asked back.
I was really starting to doubt my skills as a performer and the relevance of my characters, but I have been playing Robusti, $2 Sucky Fucky and Drag Eno regularly since the late 80’s. I KNOW they are relevant! My self esteem was so battered after years of this shit, but then I finally worked out what was happening. My stalker still denies it, but it is pretty clear to me that she is directly responsible for so much of bad crap that has happened.
I have moved house 9 times in the last 4 years trying to lose her and I even went to the Police, but they told me that I have NO rights and that without proof and signed affidavits, she could sue ME for slander!! This is why I must fight for justice and not give up. It’s too easy for people to believe lies than the truth. I can’t let her win!
Thank the Goddess for my many great friends and fans that have supported me throughout this turbulent nightmare. Although, Jonelle, as a close friend, I must mention that I found your question about whether I have a proper job, quite offensive. I DO have a proper job. I am an ARTIST. I might not earn much money, but I do contribute to making everyone’s lives better. Including yours. Can you say that about your job at the Animal Registrations counter Jonelle?
It’s because of people like me, the disinherited, who have sacrificed gaining financial riches, that we have been able to keep many of the arts traditions alive. In Brisbane, I was the only one doing Burlesque when it was unfashionable, I was the only Drag King Brian Eno for many years, even while it wasn’t cool. Instead of being upset when you all called me a mong Cabbage Patch doll at school, I turned it around and used my unique looks to create positive change for Asian womyn! Now all the young kids are copying my work, and I don’t get any credit!! But do I care? No, not anymore, I am used to it, everyone steals my ideas and uses them. I may be ignored by the mainstream, BUT I know that I have made such a great difference for queers and womyn.
Even though I get money from Centrelink, I know that I have contributed much more to the community than I receive. Just promoting my work and maintaining my website keeps me way too busy to get a “job”, let alone writing my performance material and rehearsal time!
Jonelle, I respect your choice to get married, have kids and steal your husband’s money. I even respect your decision to work in a patriarchal Municipal Council office, dictating the rights of others to own and kill the Goddess’ animals. However, I KNOW in my heart that as a feminist, bisexual, cabaret performance artist, exotic dancer and singer, I cannot follow your path. I must continue to entertain and pass on the messages that society does not always want to hear. Jonelle, buddy, please show me the same respect and don’t judge me too.
Respect Sister
Vera xxxxx
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Profile: Vera Goldwyn
Friends: 1932
Relationship Status: Single
Birthday: December 25th 1971
Current City: Brisbane, Australia
Religious Views: I believe in the Goddess!
Looking For: Women, Men, Networking
Events:
Vera Goldwyn is attending Tightparts, a Free Circus Skills Workshop for women over 39. Free Food and Free Drinks after. Be trained, not ashamed. Pelvic…..
Vera Goldwyn is attending Fluid, a Free workshop on exploring polyamourous relationship dynamics and nurturing BDSM in a safe environment for womyn and queers. Free Drinks and Free Nibbles….
Whats on your mind? Pay day plan – pay off some of my debts (finally), get new bike seat, and cheap new haircut at the hairdressing school in town – yeah I know I usually cut my own hair but I feel like utter crap and need some budget pampering STAT
Comments:
Francois St Micheline: WOW!! You should get the colour done too Vera.
Elvira Lietgenstein: You deserve it Vera!
Aowynne Vagina: That’s great Vera, we should have a few drinks soon, if you have time. Love to talk to you about performing $2 Sucky Fucky with my new Princess Wattapitti from the Mission Islands character. I think we could make a real difference for womyn and queers if we put them on the same stage together.
Jonelle Payne: Did you finally get a job Andrea?
Mitch Thompson: Hi Vera, not sure if you remember me, I’m one of the curators of the Queers in Brisvegas Art show that was held last month. Anyway, you probably haven’t forgotten, but we do need to get back the $25 we lent you to get home after the show. Unfortunately our budget didn’t include Taxi fares for the artists to get home after the “few too many drinks” part of the evening. BTW, we found a Malvern Star Lowrider bicycle seat in one of the toilets after the show. Perhaps it’s yours?? Glad you got home ok and I hope you didn’t hurt yourself too badly when you slammed your head in the taxi door :# Ouch! Call me to catch up and we’ll sort things out.
Inbox: Message from Jonelle Payne to Vera Goldwyn
Hey Andrea, How they hangin? Sorry if I gave you the shits about not havin a real job, no offense mate. It’s just you said you had no money, and I thought that if you aren’t getting paid much for your art stuff? Well you know. I guess as long as yor happy.
Anyway, guess what, it turns out that Justin and Tracey bloody Bugeja have been screwing each other behind my back. She told me when she was completely munted at Clappies last Wednesday night. I poured my jug of illusions right over her slutty fucken head and told her to get the fuck out of my life 4 eva. Can you believe that bitch was my bridesmaid! Little C. Then the mole on the bar wouldn’t serve me no more!! Reckons I was too pissed. Not pissed enough I fucken told her!
I’m just soooo sick of backstabbers Vera. Yor lucky you got out of this boring friggin town. If it weren’t for Briarna, Jaycub and Solomun, my kids, I’d pack up and move to Brissie too. But with Jaycub’s adhd and Briarna allergies (she’s allergic to red food), it’s too hard to just move and change schools. And with Dad still in prison cause of that little minx Chevon and all…
Besides, what would I do in the city to make a crust? I couldn’t be a prostitute or a stripper like you. Even though I am prittier, I’m just not naturally slutty or a showoff like you. To be honest I don’t know how ya do it?? I’m sirprised you make enough money to live. At least here, I got the house and Rav 4, and soon I’ll have Dad’s place too. Maybe one day I’ll sell Dad’s place and move to Brissie when the kids are older. We can hang out all the time! Woot Woot!!
Anyway, gotta take Briarna for her orthotics fitting. Costs a bloody fortune….
Luv ya, mwah!
Jonelle
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Profile: Jonelle Payne
Friends: 1340
Relationship Status: Separated
Birthday: August 12th 1971
Current City: Rockhampton, Australia
Looking For: Men
What’s on your mind: I’m sick of trusting people and being disappointed. AND I’m sick of backstabbers too. When will Karma work on my side??
Comments:
Kelly Johnson: Hang in there Babe. Karma’ll kick their asses!! What happened?
Linda Page: You got ya mates Jonelle, you still got ya mates.
Dino Page: God, what happened now?
Katrina Brownsey: Life is like full of lessons and god often closes a door and sometimes he leaves a window open so you can continue on your journey. Look at the footprints behind you in the sand.
Inbox: Message from Vera Goldwyn to Jonelle Payne
Jonelle, I can’t believe you said that I am a prostitute OR a stripper. I am a cabaret / burlesque performer, not a sex worker!!! It’s really offensive to suggest that my art, which I have been developing for 20 years is common sexual exploitation. I did not make these sacrifices to be considered a whore. There is a big difference between MY fan dance and some poor oppressed girls lap dancing and cheap gyrating. Yes, sometimes I have performed in strip clubs, but these performances were to entertain womyn and queers NOT straight men and perverts.
You may not appreciate the difference, being in Rockhampton, but it is VERY different. And before you ask, just because I am bisexual, it does not mean I am a slut. I usually sleep with men, but feel more comfortable identifying as bisexual. I will not let your gender-normative views limit who can dine from my Captains Table. I really think you need to look at how you’re living your life as a woman Jonelle and the example you are setting to your daughter. I suspect that your tawdry, heterosexual, regional town life and children have held you back from reaching your true potential. This is clear and apparent in your very limited understanding of art, gender politics and the gripping hold the patriarchy still has on you. Sorry to hear about your father. We were close, once.
Remember Jonelle, Dead Men Don’t Rape
Vera x
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Profile: Vera Goldwyn
Friends: 1932
Relationship Status: Single
Birthday: December 25th 1971
Current City: Brisbane, Australia
Religious Views: I believe in the Goddess!
Looking For: Men, Women, Networking
Events:
Vera Goldwyn is attending Raw Love Sex Majik, a celebration of queer and alternative identity politics at Newfarm Park, BYO drums, fairy wings and majik potions. Free Food and Free Drinks. Kick off, Tuesday 12th, 1.30pm………..
Vera Goldwyn maybe attending Alcoholics Anonymous, a free support group for Alcoholics and people affected by Alcoholics. Free Tea , Biscuits and Coffee……….
What’s on your mind? So it’s time I faced up to the reality that alcohol is not my friend :{ Oh Goddess!! Another embarrassing evening during which I regrettably insulted my closest friends and fell asleep in the gutter outside Bare Gallery. Sources close to me say that I repeatedly beat a prominent Curator with my Rape Feather Duster before falling over and vomiting in his partners lap. And I woke up in a park with a $5 note tucked into my Ninja Turtle panties???? I don’t know what to do now? Perhaps it’s time I went to AA, but I’m not sure if I feel comfortable sharing my story with so many people. It’s so difficult to stop drinking when I am obliged to attend so many openings and performances where Alcohol is served. Plan for the rest of the week, stay in bed and think about my appalling behaviour, try and be sober and chaste. Recover from hangover from hell @_@
Comments:
Elmo Von Snufelupagus: It’s ok Vera, we’ve all behaved badly on occasion. You weren’t too bad J
Aowynne Vagina: You go girrrl! Don’t be too hard on yourself Vera, its times like these that you find out who your true friends are. I saw what you did, and I don’t think it was too bad. Maybe just apologise to the Bare Gallery guys though. Eat some grease and stay strong.
Elvira Litgenstein: Hahahahahahah – Oh Vera, stop worrying so much, you were a hoot! I love it when you’re smashed like that, sooo cute and sexy 😉
Jonelle Payne: Hey Andrea, is your stalker called Fruity Lexia? Bwahahahahaha!!! That bitch has stalked me a few times too, from the bar all the way to the toilet!! Can’t believe you blew chunks on someone, just like at the formal when you spewed all over Cassie Howlett and we had to pick carrots out of her new spiral perm which wasn’t sposed to get wet! No wonder you never get hired twice!! Yor a FARKIN CLASSIC!!
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Profile: Jonelle Payne
Friends: 1320
Relationship Status:Separated
Birthday: August 12th 1971
Current City: Rockhampton, Australia
Looking For:
Men
What’s on your mind: I’m starting to doubt Karma??? I don’t do nothing wrong and I keep getting bullshit rubbed in my face by backstabbers and cheats and selfish peeple that never get theres!!!
Comments:
Ciara Powers: Aww babe, what happened??
Dino Page: Hang in their Jonelle, itel all blow over.
Inbox: Message from Vera Goldwyn to Jonelle Payne
Jonelle, I’m writing this because I need to tell you that I found your comment on my Friend Book wall very inappropriate. I cannot believe that you of all people, someone who has known me for so long, would PUBLICLY suggest that my stalker was a figment of my imagination or the result of drinking too much alcohol. Buddy, apart from obviously not being true, it is very insensitive.
Jonelle, I have struggled for years to get support from my friends, many of whom chose to believe the lies that my stalker has spread about me instead of the truth. When you wrote your crass and hurtful comments, it cheapens the impact this violent person has had on my life and makes me spiral into a depression that is very very deep. I only hope I can climb out of it this time. You need to consider others Jonelle, or you will die a very lonely woman. It doesn’t have to be about you all of the time.
In future, please bear in mind that I am a VERY private person Jonelle, and I do not appreciate people digging up my past indiscretions and sharing them around like it’s a free for all! And finally, Jonelle, please stop calling me Andrea, my name is Vera. Andrea Brown is a dead concept.
You need to let go of the past,
Vera xxx
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Profile: Vera Goldwyn
Friends: 1925
Relationship Status: Single
Birthday: December 25th 1971
Current City: Brisbane, Australia
Religious Views: I believe in the Goddess!
Looking For: Men, Women, Networking
Events: Vera Goldwyn is attending the opening of Envelope, a queer art space dedicated to fighting Transphobia and promoting the visual arts of Post OP Transpeople. FREE Food and FREE Drinks. All welcome……
What is on your mind: My recent deep depression and revival of repressed memories of years of systematic sexual and emotional abuse perpetrated by my parents and extended family, the people I should have been able to trust, has at last given me the clarity to clear out the TRASH from my life. I am getting rid of the ex who left me because I had no money, I’m ditching the art snobs who only associate with me because of my fame, the cruel girls from school who told me I looked like a down syndrome cabbage patch doll, the people who sided with my stalker and wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to speak the truth. I want to thank all my close friends who have supported and stuck by me even though I am poor and don’t get paid enough for my art (I just can’t charge huge amounts for social justice!) So, if you are still on my Friends Book list, thank you for being a CLOSE and TRUE friend. You all mean SO much to me. Vera xxxxx
Comments:
Elmo Von Snuffelupagus: Good on you Vera! Follow your heart and trust in your true friends. I love your performance art and think you are incredibly spesh. Who cares if you have money? True friends want what’s best for you.
Aowynne Vagina: Go Vera! Grrrl power. Look Babe, you still have 1925 people you can count on!!
Stacey Iramoo-Gallop: Hi Vera, don’t get too down on yourself. I know we’ve only met once, but I wanted to say that it’s hard to see such a good person being down L Take extra special care of yourself, and know that the girls in the Ipswich Womyn’s Boot Scoot Club are behind you all of the way! Mwah!
You have 1 Friend Request
Hi Andrea, there’s been an accident. I think you deleted me from your friend list by mistake. I have re-linked us, just hit the Confirm button. BTW, your new profile pic is scary, why are you dressed like a balding kiddy fiddler with greasy lanky hair? Jonelle xxx
Confirm Ignore
Delete
Post Bogue Exposure Prophylaxis 
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